Life Lessons from My Birthday Reflection: 5 Insights for Growth and Coaching

For the past 5 years or so, birthdays for me have no longer been about parties or presents. They’ve become sacred moments of pausing, reflecting, and taking stock of life.

This year, inspired by one of my favorite speakers, I’ve taken the time to look back on the past 12 months and gather the lessons that have shaped me — both as a person and as a life coach. I feel deeply grateful for every challenge, stretch, and insight that came my way.

Here are 5 lessons that stand out:

Lesson #1: Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn

Not every event I hosted turned out the way I expected, and as a high-achiever, I’ve had to learn to accept that. One workshop I ran for a leadership team in late 2024 was a powerful reminder of this truth.

What I took away is that embracing my own imperfections isn’t a weakness; it’s an essential part of growth and becoming a better coach.

Lesson #2: Growth lies in the unknown

Over the past 12 months, I chose to consciously step into the unknown. One big leap was learning about digital marketing, a field I had never explored before. The more I learned, the more exciting the journey became. What came out of this journey was beyond what I expected: my website was built both in English and Vietnamese, my first newsletter went out, and I launched my very first digital campaign with a landing page and automated email sequences. To my surprise, I was even invited to join the Success Panel interview by the Global Marketing Institute, Australia.

Each “unknown” stretched me and reminded me that stepping outside of my comfort zone always opens new possibilities.

Lesson #3: Helping less, believing more

As a recovering 𝘙𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘶𝘦𝘳, I often remind myself that rushing to help others can unintentionally disempower them, create dependence, and make them feel incapable of handling things on their own. True support means stepping back, letting them stumble if needed, and holding the belief that they already have all the resources they need within them.

Over the past 12 months, there was one moment when I chose to step back and let my sister handle a major family issue — something I would have previously taken responsibility for — and it ended with an unexpectedly positive outcome

I also apply this principle with my clients. I’ve learned to face the truth that sometimes “help” is just 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭, and what my clients truly need isn’t for me to fix things, but for me to believe in them.

Lesson #4: My triggers are my teachers

I keep reminding myself of a powerful concept in psychology called projective identification: the traits we can’t stand in others often mirror the parts of ourselves we haven’t yet accepted.

My impatience exposes my expectations.

My sadness highlights my values.

My anger shows me what I haven’t yet resolved within myself.

I believe life will keep sending me the same lessons until I am ready to truly learn from them.

And because I see this journey as one of continuous growth, I choose to embrace the perspective Tony Robbins so wisely shared: “Life happens FOR us, not TO us”.

Lesson #5: Boundaries build respect

I’ve learned this the hard way, both at work and in family life.

Every time I said YES when I truly wanted to say NO, I walked away feeling depleted and disconnected.

Social psychology shows that these “fake” agreements create cognitive dissonance, a clash between our values and our actions. Over time, that clash erodes trust and damages relationships far more than an honest NO ever could.

Boundaries aren’t barriers. They’re signals that teach others how to respect us, and more importantly, how we respect ourselves. An honest NO may feel uncomfortable in the moment, but it creates space for deeper connection, something a false YES can never achieve.

Over time, I’ve learned to say: “This doesn’t work for me” – “Not now” – “I need space to think about it and will come back later” – “I deserve better”.

💛 As I step into a new year of life, I carry these lessons forward and feel grateful for the journey, for the people who walk alongside me, and for the unknowns that will continue to unfold.

✨ Take a moment to reflect, and if you’d like support in uncovering your own insights and growth, I’d be honored to walk that journey with you.

With the CEO of the Global Marketing Institute, Australia during her visit to Hanoi, when I had the honor of being interviewed